Learning to Fly…

I once had the unfortunate experience to watch a dearly loved family member head off to his first semester in college. There was the whole celebration of a major milestone, the showering of gifts and excitement of his move to the dorm room of a major university, and all of the encouragement and hope that goes into the next chapter of a young man’s life. However, after one short semester… Let’s just say it didn’t go so well. 

I was perplexed… I know it’s not that uncommon, but this individual had so much promise. As crazy as it sounds, I just couldn’t get the analogy of a bird learning to fly out of my head… You know, the one where the adult bird nudges the baby bird to the edge of the nest and they’re supposed to take flight, right? Well, this one just seemed to hit the ground with a thud! 

Now, from what I gathered, he probably saw more keg stands than class time… or completed more hangovers than homework.. and I’m sure he scored higher playing Fortnite than on Finals.

Either way, I found myself trying to analyze the situation in hopes to understand how or why this type of thing happens to so many young people (and adults for that matter) as they try to find their way through this journey called life.

In this situation his major was “undecided”. Now, I’m not saying that’s wrong for everyone, but I remember him saying “it just felt like more school…”.

My first response was “Well, of course… you don’t have an end goal to work towards. There was no VISION to get excited and motivated about…it was just more of the same; Math, English, Science and a few electives.” 

THIS IS A REMINDER that Everyone needs a NORTH STAR (a sense of direction and purpose).

And, I don’t just mean when we’re young and just starting our lives — we have to CONTINUOUSLY evaluate WHO we are and WHERE we’re headed so that we can make the necessary adjustments when needed. Even today, I’m regularly asking myself what I want to be when I grow up… and I’m not alone! What about you?

In one of my favorite parables (Matthew 25:14-30) There’s a story known today as the Parable of the Talents where it says “the Kingdom of God (life as it was always intended) will be like a man who entrusted talents (or valuable assets) with his servants while he goes on a long trip.”

In this story, the master gave 5 talents to one, 2 to another and 1 to the third – each according to his abilities.  Later in the story, the master returns and finds that 2 out of the 3 took those talents and invested them to produce exponentially more, while the 3rd guy… he buried his in his backyard until the master returned. 

The master’s words to the first 2 were “well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.” It’s almost as if he’s saying “YES, you’re getting it!… You’re seeing the bigger picture and you’re living it out exactly as I’d hoped you would! Now, you’re capable of expanding your reach!”

Now, I’m confident that Jesus’ audience would’ve quickly associated this story with God (as the master), Israel (as the servant) entrusted with a vision (and responsibility) of being the means in which all nations/people will be blessed.

While keeping the context in mind, there’s still something to be said for what we’re called into; an invitation to participate into a bigger story – a transcendent cause that’s far bigger than ourselves.

Here are 3 takeaways that help me to keep things in perspective…

TAKE INVENTORY   

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we got our word TALENT from this very parable (meaning our individual gifts and natural abilities).  Each of us have our own set of gifts from birth that put us in a unique position to help us fulfill our PURPOSE and realize our full POTENTIAL.

However, it all starts with learning to identify and use those gifts. Despite what you may think, it takes effort to figure out WHO WE ARE… It takes intentionality to get to know YOURSELF, but as crazy as it sounds… its often a step that we overlook… 

Most of us are quick to pay attention to the lives of others…. but haven’t carved out any time to get to know ourselves!  In fact, a lot of times we default to identifying ourselves with WHO we are by what we DO. Think about it… how many times do you start a conversation with “what do you do?” (not a bad icebreaker, but we are all more than what we DO).  

After being a parent of 3 (and raising 3 others for many years), there’s one thing I believe to be true… we are all 100% unique in our own ways and each of us have God-given gifts that we’re born with… In fact, there’s an old saying that a little acorn has everything it needs to be a massive oak tree. There are also some gifts that (almost mysteriously) seem to come out of nowhere later in life once you tap into the depths of your soul and become courageous enough to pursue them.

The question is, what are some ways that you can take time out to search the depths of who you are? Below is not an exhaustive list, but ideas that have come from the wisdom of others along with my own journey; a good place to start:

1. Reflection – silence and solitude have long been a method used to block out the noise around us and see what’s happening beneath the surface of the iceberg… our soul or inner life.
2. Friendships – I’ve heard it said that if you really want to know something about yourself, then ask 5 of your closest friends.
3. Past experiences – we tend to say “forget the past”, but you can clearly use the past as a guide to propel you into the future. Inventory the areas in your life that you’ve excelled at? What areas of life or work have frustrated you? What has given you joy, life, or filled your soul?
4. Self-assessments – There are many self-assessments that span personality, communication, productivity and how we work with others (e.g. teamwork). Carl Jung and Isabel Briggs Myers typology, Enneagram, DISC, and… one that I’ve been pretty excited about as a certified facilitator… See The 6 Types of Working Genius for more info.
5. Counseling – If I speak from personal experience, there are times where I just can’t see beyond the tip of my nose… even with the help of all of these resources we’ve listed (we all have blinders on to some degree). Working with a professional counselor can be helpful to get out of your own head in order to see the bigger picture.

INVEST YOUR GIFTS

In this parable, the focus is clearly on the the 3rd guy in line… He’s the only one in the story who, in contrast, buries his talents rather than using (or invests them in a way that leads to multiplication). He never puts forth the effort to allow for potential to be realized. And, if you read further, he uses the excuse of being fearful of losing the master’s assets, but isn’t that usually the case? Getting momentum is always messy!  Every action comes with risk and change can feel extremely uncomfortable! But, there’s always progress on the other side of perseverance!

Going back to the bird analogy…  Although a bird has natural instincts to soar through the sky, no bird is born with the ability to fly because it takes practice. A bird will entice their young with food and move farther and farther from the nest until… the bird eventually falls from the nest. The bird learns to spread and flap its wings in order to ease the fall… and after repeated attempts eventually learns to take flight!

RESPECT THE PROCESS

Finally, there’s always a desire (especially in our digital world) to press a button rather than plant and nurture a seed. How often do we try to circumvent the PROCESS in hopes for PROMOTION? We want to skip the MUNDANE stuff and yet we expect the MIRACULOUS! 

We see people of status and we want to jump right to the RECOGNITION?

TRUST ME — There’s no one clapping when you’re a young musician working on scales, long tones and technical studies in a closed room for hours at a time…  Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do…

If you can’t be faithful with little, then how can you expect to do so with more? If I can’t manage my personal finances, how can I be ready to manage a billion dollar program? If I can’t lead my family, how can I be expected to lead a large team or a community.

The point of it all…  instinct or natural ability will not take you very far without YOU investing the time and effort to grow and mature those abilities. 

And, as we’ve learned from our feathered friends… it’s ok to fall out of the nest occasionally. In fact, it’s a necessary part of the process. But if we keep flapping our wings we’ll learn something new each time and eventually take flight.

As I’ve navigated my own journey, I’ve come to realize that it’s not about the perfect goal or thing that we do next that really matters; often it’s the terrifying step out of the nest that leads us to a place where we see a world of possibilities. I often tell people struggling with their next career move that they don’t have to find the perfect next job, but rather find the very next step that gives you life (fills your soul) and begin to fly… once you’re soaring through the air you’ll realize that the sky is the limit! Or is it?

You’ve heard it said, it’s not about the destination, but rather the journey… Life is a gift and we have the beautiful, yet messy and complicated job of stewarding that well, to the best of our abilities and regardless of the hand we were dealt; even with all of life’s big questions and mysteries.

When’s the last time you’ve thought about your North Star? Or, took inventory of and invested in the gifts that you’ve been uniquely given? And, are you ready to step out of the nest, start flapping and take flight… in whatever that next thing is in your journey?!

Below is just one of the many ways I’ve been working with folks to answer some of these questions. Contact me if you’re interested in an individual or group workshop. Happy soaring!