The only Constant is Change…?

“The only constant is change”

-Heraclitus

Is it just me or do you also find that just about every time you start to get in a groove or excited about heading down a certain path in life…. (e.g. work, friends, family, community, church, finances, etc.), at some point things inevitably change…

On a related note, how many times have you heard that phrase “the only thing constant in life is change“? I feel like I hear this more and more these days right along side that one about the supposed “new normal“. And, if you dig in you’ll find that this is nothing new as the ancient greek philosopher, Heraclitus, was making this claim over 2,000 years ago.

The funny thing is… I think I’m finally starting to come to terms with how much truth there is behind this simple phrase. In fact, Heraclitus also expanded on this truth by saying something to the effect that “we never step into the same river twice”. The thought being that the river and the person are always and constantly flowing and changing with time therefore it’s never the same river or the same person… Deep, right?

In the last 5 years I’ve been through two truly historical changes in my company’s business strategy leaving, not only me, but thousands of people disorientated, to say the least. Not to mention, no single change happens in isolation. For me, during both of these massive career disruptions, I was also dealing with other major life changes such as doubling the size of our family to care for 3 amazing teens who deserved a loving family or, more recently, losing an incredible mother who has been the rock and hero of my life story… What unexpected changes are happening in your life and how are you doing, emotionally, as you manage through that?

The paradox here is that fear of change is also a constant for most of us. The types of change I’ve described above are just flat out HARD! And, let’s face it – we like to be in control of what’s happening in our lives. Change can feel overwhelming, confusing and… if we’re honest with ourselves – it can be scary.

All that being said, I recently had the honor to speak to a large group of employees during an all-hands meeting within my organization about managing stress through this type of change by sharing some thoughts and insights from recent past experiences — not to minimize how anyone may have been feeling — but to encourage folks through it all. I hope and pray that this same advice can be helpful in your life as well if you have been, are currently, or will eventually experience some level of change in the days to come.

Embrace & Grace

First of all, I’d say – take a deep breath and be okay with just simply soaking in the reality of what’s happening… Sometimes it’s natural for us (especially type-A leaders) to be OVERLY positive and optimistic in hopes to encourage those around us, but I’ve found that (for me) the most effective way to move IN and THROUGH major change is to first acknowledge that it’s happening and then take the time to truly embrace the new reality… 

Change can feel hard… 

Change can be impactful…  regardless of whether it’s positive change or tragic.

And, yes, I’ll say it for you… sometimes change can just flat out suck!

Another important aspect of embracing change, especially within a team or organization, is to give grace (e.g. patience and empathy) — both with yourself and with others.

For YOU, navigating change will mean reorienting yourself to how things are NOW versus hanging on the way things were yesterday and it’s easy to get frustrated with that; especially when there was passion or emotional energy invested in where you were or where you were headed.

Likewise… for OTHERS that you may be experiencing change with, it’s important to remember that each one of us will likely process that same change in a very different way so give grace and space to those around you.

Prepare to Propel

Next, I’d say that once you’ve walked out the appropriate steps to process and embrace the change, it’s an ideal time for self-improvement. Change is often the much needed catalyst to force us out of our comfort zone and into a season of growth in some form or fashion.

For some that might be expanding on new or existing skills…  

For others it might be a time of inward reflection e.g. counseling, soul searching and/or spiritual direction.

Either way, I do believe (based on past experience) there will be something good that comes out of something that may seem so difficult, hopeless and/or disorienting at the time… One of my favorite bible verses is Psalm 30:5 where it says “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning”. Life doesn’t always go the way we want or expect, but I do believe that the divine is always ever-present with us even in our darkest moments and inviting and leading us into something greater. With that hope for tomorrow, consider using this season as an opportunity to take advantage of the time you’ve been given to prepare and propel you into the next chapter.

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning”

-Psalm 30:5

Reset & Recharge 

And, lastly, (and maybe most importantly) take time to reset & recharge… I like to use my Roomba vacuum analogy… I know… sounds crazy, right? But, if any of you have owned a robot vacuum then you’ll know that they start off great, but they don’t always make it back the base station in time to recharge… Sometimes they hit obstacles, get caught up on something, suck up one of the kids toys, or just can’t find it’s way home in time. That said, they end up powered off in the middle of the living room floor hopeless and stranded… 

Now, although I’d like to think I’m a little smarter than a robot vacuum, I find it’s easy for me (especially in times of major change) to stress and worry myself to the point of feeling exhausted and run down. 

Knowing this, I try to be intentional about finding ways to stop, reset and recharge before I ever get to that point… I know this will vary for each of us, but I’ll share 3 things that help me… 

• Physical: First, I intentionally schedule time for physical activity (e.g. weight training, running, or my personal favorite – walks around my neighborhood between conf calls…) I didn’t do a good job of tracking steps during some of my darkest moments, but I guarantee you that my wife can attest to the sheer volume of socks and shoes I’ve worn out in these seasons… 
• Mental: On the mental side – I’d simply say take time to focus your mind on other things… things that you enjoy and that ultimately fill your soul and help to recharge your batteries (e.g. family time, activities friends, hobbies…). In fact, if you don’t have a hobby, I’d recommend finding one now! Today is a great time time pick-up a new hobby that brings you joy. Heck, I’m well into my 40’s and just started a Tae Kwon Do class with my kids so wish me luck with that! 
• Spiritual: Lastly, (for me) my faith is what helps me to maintain the right perspective… one that keeps me grounded and brings me hope, gratitude and an indescribable inner-peace regardless of the situation or circumstance I’m facing. Let me be clear, this doesn’t make it easy, per say, but it does help to keep my emotions and feelings in-check knowing that there’s a much bigger story at play…  

I hope this is helpful for you as you navigate change in your own life. I’ll leave you with one last thing…. please don’t go it alone! All of the above seem moot without others to help support, love and provide guidance as you walk through this stuff. One of the tendencies we have (especially men) in times of anxiety is we retreat into isolation and that’s the absolute worst place to be in that state. I’m a huge proponent of the fact that we were created and called to live in community; no exceptions. Find a community of faith, be intentional about doing life with your tribe, nurture deep friendships and, of course, keep a strong focus and emphasis on family!